Eilean Donan Castle: What's in a name?

As soon as I owned a computer, I started searching for 'Donan.'

I didn't know much about my name. My mom heard the name at her Catholic high school from one of her teachers (a nun) who had considered taking 'Donan' when she took her vows. Nuns often take names of a saint who inspires them as to direct their lives in service. My mom didn't know much about the Donan story so I was excited to find out more.

My first search revealed: Donan was a man. Donan was killed in the bloodiest martyrdom in Celtic church history.

I wasn't thrilled.

What did that mean for me? I continued to search as the years went by. I learned that there is an Eilean Donan Castle in Scotland. I learned that Donan is a Scotch-Gaelic name. I learned that Donnan (potential Gaelic spelling) means 'brown.' I wanted more, a deeper understanding of my name which could, hopefully, lead to a deeper understanding of myself.

As the years went by, I began to wonder if I was seeking for something that wasn't needed. What insight was I hoping to gain? Lots of people just have their names which take on meaning as they live their lives. Nonetheless, I kept searching.

I started following 'Eilean Donan Castle' on Facebook. As you can see from the photo above, the castle is beautiful. They post at least a picture a day and all the photos are beautiful. I began to wonder if I could visit the castle. This seemed like a crazy dream because I don't travel internationally. I mean, I don't think of myself as a person who can travel internationally. I think of all the practical reasons that I can't or shouldn't go. It's nice to dream but could it really happen?

As Jeremiah and I planned our sabbatical, we began to wonder if we could make a 'dream trip' to Ireland and Scotland. We had inherited a small sum of money and the dream trip seemed like an appropriate use for that money. We had the time because of our sabbatical. We had the support of our amazing parents to watch our kiddos. I still struggled to believe we could actually pull it off. Jeremiah made me sit down one night to book tickets because it still seemed so surreal to me.

With tickets in hand, I began to research how to get to the castle. We didn't want to rent a car (driving a manual on the opposite side of the road on narrow, windy roads did not sound restful to us) so how could we get to this castle that seemed like it was in the middle of nowhere? I researched tour companies and itineraries. I looked again and again at dates. I talked to several folks who had traveled in the area. I started to wonder if I would find something that would work for us. Several tours stopped at the castle but it was just a photo opportunity. I wanted to go in. I wanted to spend time there.

Finally, in what felt like a miracle, I found a company that stopped at the castle that fit our itinerary. I booked it immediately.

And then, I started to wonder if this was a good idea. What if going to the castle was a big let down? What if I had built this up idea about the potential significance of the experience that could never be met? Maybe I should just not go to avoid potential disappointment. But, the tickets were booked. We were going.

As we closer and closer, I got more and more nervous. I tried to tell myself we were seeing lots of amazing things on this trip. I wanted to believe that if the castle didn't meet my unnecessarily high expectations, the trip would still be worth it. Jeremiah and I joked about the questions we could ask at the castle like, "How many people named Donan are here today?" Humor helped my mood.

We arrived at the castle first thing on the morning on the second day. The sky had turned dark and the rain was just starting to fall. Jeremiah wanted to take lots of pictures including some of me and the castle. I felt shy. I didn't want this moment memorialized if it turned out to be a big disappointment.

We took our tickets and handed them to the attendants at the entrance to the bridge. As I walked across, I felt like I was living a dream-- a place that I had looked at so often was becoming part of my lived experience. If this was the best part of the castle visit, I felt okay with that.

It wasn't. It got better.

Jeremiah walked up to one of the guides inside the castle and struck up a conversation. He called me over and introduced me, "I'd like you to meet my wife, Donan."

"Nice to meet you. Oh, you're a Donan!" he replied.

I laughed. "Yes, do you get many of us here?"

"No. You're the first one I've met." We proceeded to talk about the origin of St. Donan. The guide told me more in 5 minutes then I'd learned in 20 years of Internet searching.

Donan was part of a larger Irish monastic movement during 6th and 7th centuries. As the Romans left Scotland, the Irish returned with the gospel. Donan established several 'cells' or religious communities in the area. There is a church up the road from the castle that also bears his name. Several other monks are remembered in a similar fashion around Scotland, each seems to be geographically specific. He told me that Donan came from one of three potential monasteries outside of Dublin and died just outside of Argyll. He recommended a book where I could learn more about this period of Irish/Scottish history.

As the guide talked, I felt like a hand reached down from heaven and touched my heart. This is what I had been searching for in all those years of Internet searches. God was speaking to me.

I heard all the ways Donan had been faithful to the call of God to bring the gospel (the literal pages of scripture as the Irish preserved them from the unrest following the fall of Rome) to Scotland. He left behind his life in Ireland to go to new places, not knowing what he might find there. He established new communities filled with people who wanted to follow God. These communities continued for thousands of years (!) and still remember the man who founded them.

We wandered around the castle a bit more. I was in a daze. I went to the gift shop, eager to find something to help me remember this moment of feeling so known by God. I bought a tote bag. It wasn't enough but it was something.

As we loaded back on the bus, I started to cry. I felt known and seen. I felt filled with purpose to go and do likewise (to quote Jesus...) I felt loved by God. I felt God's abundance in helping me get to this place and hear these words. I thought about those moments of self-doubt leading up to the trip and realized how often I talked myself out of what might be good because I'm afraid. I saw so much goodness and received so much purpose. I am so thankful.

Blogging somewhere else!

Hi friends!

I am blogging about sabbatical at: www.gen26.blogspot.com

Love to see you there!

Mark Camp: Secret of the Kingdom of Heaven

Mark 4
11 And he said to them, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables; 12 so that they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand; lest they should turn again, and be forgiven.”

I love teaching Mark manuscript study. This is my 3rd year teaching Mark 1 in a camp format and my 6th time overall. Plus the three time I went through Mark 1 before teaching it. I tried to calculate the hours I've spent in Mark once-- it's easily 100. Probably more. And yet, every time I see something new. However, this year blew me away.

We study in about 2.5 hour chunks. At the beginning of each chunk, I usually give students instructions about what they should be looking for in each section or some piece of background info that might be helpful. Sometimes, I add an activity or ask a question to get their brains thinking about the topics we'll talk about in the section. After the introduction, I pray and read the text out loud before sending them into personal study time.

We study the parable of the soils in the seventh chunk of Mark Camp. This year, it fell on Sunday night. I like to do some sort of creative entry into the text and this year I pulled out something I'd tried before. After reading half of the section out loud, I stop after reading after verse 12 and I walk out the room. No explanation. I just leave. And, I wait to see if students will follow me out.

If they come out and ask any genuine question (like "why did you leave?") I answer with Mark 4:11-12. I'm trying to push all their curiosity buttons so that they will result with the secret of the kingdom of heaven.

This year, about 10 students came out over the course of 20 minutes (about 1/4 of the room.) However, what happened inside the room was amazing! Upon my departure, one student stood up and said something like, "Well, we should just wait for her to get back. Let's keep working. I'll keep time for us." He would also let people know if they were getting too noisy. Of the students who came out to talk to me, NONE of them came back into the room and shared what I said. Apparently, the room thought I had some personal crisis (some said with my children) and needed to take care of the emergency.

When I came back in the room, I continued on like a typical manuscript session. I sent the room into small groups to discuss what they noticed in the passage. Initially, no one asked me why I had left. I brought the group back and asked for their observations. Still, no one asked. I felt the tension in the room but I was determined to let them wrestle with the secret. When I sent them back into small groups to talk about their questions, one student looked visibly agitated. After talking with her small group, she called me over and said, "Donan, am I Pharisee?" I felt this wasn't a genuine question-- maybe even a rhetorical one-- so I said that I couldn't answer that for her and referenced a previous conversation from session six. She was still frustrated and started to tear up at my unwillingness to give her the answer. I forced myself to walk away so I wouldn't smooth the tension for her. I wanted her to wrestle with the secret of the kingdom.

Finally, at the end of small group time, she called me over and asked what she needed to know about the kingdom of heaven and I answered her with Mark 4:11-12. She looked at her group and smiled. 

I saw that student's process play out across the entire room that night. At the end of the study, when one student was struggling with feelings of exclusion from the text, I felt like it was time to talk about the group's experience in my living parable. And, as each person told their stories, I noticed their response had revealed something about the condition of their hearts. For each student who came outside, they didn't want to tell their friends because they didn't think they were suppose to (which I had NEVER mentioned), they had done the work and their friends hadn't or they just weren't sure what I said meant so they didn't think repeating it would help. For students who stayed inside, they thought I would just come in and explain everything to them or maybe they should just focus on the task I gave them and not worry about anything else. And finally, for the student who took over leadership and kept the group on track, he realized how much he was driven by task and completing what's assigned. 

As each person shared, the group exclaimed together. There were shouts, laughter and awe at the ways this parable had come alive for us. When the seed was sown in us, what did we do with it? 

And, what's the secret of the kingdom? Well, the group decided, the secret is to ask Jesus. 

Amen.

What to read more on manuscript study? Helpful resource from BibleGateway.com

Urbana

"One of the largest student missions conferences in the world, Urbana is a catalytic event bringing together a diverse mix of college and graduate students, faculty, recent graduates, pastors, church and ministry leaders, missions organizations and schools."- from Urbana.org

Urbana is the largest missions conference in North America, and it is aimed at college students. The convergence of those statements fills me with tremendous pride. Every 3 years about 15,000 college students sacrifice 5 days of their Christmas break to travel to St. Louis and wrestle with their role in the issues and opportunities facing the global church. This is my 5th Urbana, and I have seen Urbana launch many students into missional lifestyles with Jesus. Here are the parts of Urbana that I see creating lifelong impact:

• Speakers from the Global church: Many students only hear North American Christian voices. As a result, their perspective becomes skewed. Sadly, privilege and wealth become synonymous with God's favor and blessing. Politics become intermingled with Kingdom building. By hearing from voices around the globe, students are exposed to what God is doing in house churches, in persecuted nations and in areas with a longer church history. Patrick Fung was our scripture expositor (he spoke several times, leading us through Matthew's gospel). He is the Director of OMF International (formerly Inland China Mission). His perspective as a global missionary, an international student in the West and as a medical doctor guided his talks and widened our view of what God is actively doing in the world. Check out his bio and talks here: https://urbana.org/bio/patrick-fung
  
  
  
•   Focus on the Persecuted church: Most Urbana's have a night focused on the persecuted church. We again had such a night; with powerful intercession, communion and the opportunity to write letters to persecuted Christians (check out a powerful rendition of "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" from the evening: https://urbana.org/message/i-have-decided-follow-jesus). However, that evening was far from the only time that we engaged with the idea of persecution. Videos told the story of a North American missionary couple serving in a closed nation where several missionaries have recently been killed. They vulnerably shared their process discerning to stay despite receiving no guarantee of safety from God. Several speakers spoke on unlit stages, due to previous threats on their lives. In short, Urbana proudly invited delegates to count the cost of mission, and believe in surpassing value of Jesus. 
• Multi-Ethnic Worship: The worship experience is central to Urbana. Much as we were invited to sit at the feet and learn with the Global church, we were also were invited to worship along side them. Not only were songs led in various languages and musical styles, but Erna Hackett (our worship leader and IV staff in Portland, OR) taught us about the history of the worship tradition and brought others to do so as well. The worship album is available on itunes and amazon (https://urbana.org/u15worship). Songs that are particularly meaningful to me are: "Africaribb Melody" (an African/Caribbean praise song), "Facing a Task Unfinished" (a translated hymn from China Inland Mission. Simply the most inspiring song of mission I have ever heard) and "Debemos Decir y Hacer" (a song from a college student movement in Mexico).
• Exhibitor Hall: As a missions conference, everything at Urbana funnels to one purpose: to invite and equip students to step into the mission field. The exhibitor hall was jam packed with missions organizations and seminaries from all over the world (a list can be found here: https://urbana.org/past-urbanas/urbana-15/exhibitors). While InterVarsity is the host of Urbana, the missions organizations inspire me every time. So many have given their lives to see the gospel reach the ends of the earth and edges of our cities. 

Brandon.

I believe the student experience at Urbana is unmatched. It is not just the size and cost (though both of which are substantial), but it is the sense that God is doing so much more than any student can imagine coming in. One student I want to highlight is Brandon from Eastern Washington University. Brandon is from Tacoma and school has been a struggle for him (mostly financially and the culture shock of moving from Western to Eastern Washington). He has felt lonely as a black Christian man in Cheney.  He came to Urbana because it was something to do, because he has persistent staff and because generous donors removed the financial cost. Brandon's expectations were blown out of the water in two ways: 1. he felt compelled to recommit his life to Jesus following an invitation from David Platt (https://urbana.org/bio/david-platt) and 2. he felt called to come on staff with InterVarsity to help reach other black students. It has been so much fun seeing Brandon since Urbana. He is committed to his call to reach his friends and reminds me that I am going to be his boss someday. 

One more note. 

Some of you may remember Erin O'Neil, a former staff partner of Donan's at Washington State University. Since leaving staff, Erin has been working as musician in Northern, then Southern California. She has continued to serve Inland Northwest InterVarsity by leading worship at two fall conferences and has also led in Oregon and for our Regional conferences. She was a vocalist on the Urbana worship team and led most of the Spanish language songs. It was such a joy to see her in St. Louis and to be reminded that though these students and staff are with IV for a season, they serve the Kingdom of God for their whole lives.